I have dabbled in online dating for a while now to no success. Yes I have had dates and a few relationships in the past, but nothing stuck.
There are only so many messages that a girl can receive without starting to notice some patterns. The same sort of things start to happen, and I have noticed at least ten types of men online.
This is a bit of a joke so I hope nobody takes offense. This is just my experience online. I’m sure there are plenty of success stories out there somewhere. I haven’t included the predators or nice guys on the list. These are just the inbetweens.
The ‘Nice’ Guy
This guy will start his message by saying he’s not like all the other guys on here and tell you the reason why you should message him. They get very intense really quickly (this is before you even meet up) and get quite angry if you don’t message back right away. Once I read this guy’s message and then had to answer a call (I worked in a call centre at the time). The call lasted about ten minutes and in that time I had a very angry message from the guy telling me I was a bitch for not answering straight away and I was wasting his time. Nice!
The You Viewed Me, You Must Want Me Guys
Online Dating is a bit brutal at times. You are looking at hundreds of profiles, and let’s be honest the photo is the main thing that you look at before reading stuff. The photo might be too small so you click the photo to get a better look; and nope, not your type! So you leave. You will then immediately get a message from the guy saying why you never messaged him. Yikes! I’d love to say that this was a one off, but nope, it happened last night. Yeah!
I don’t mean the single men with this. Hopefully they are single anyway. By this I mean the single worded message guys. You’re actually pulling teeth to try and get a conversation out of them. Honestly, if they can’t be bothered to have a conversation with you, they’re not that interested.
The Porn Star
Is it just me or does anybody else get really creepy first messages from guys explaining exactly what they want to do to me in bed? And these sound pretty creative. One could have been a chapter from a smut book, or a porn movie, it was that long. Everybody has their preferences in bed, but please don’t open your conversation with them. At least start with a ‘Hi. How are you?’, not what weird fetishes you’re into. I still get messaged from a guy who has a foot thing. I have never replied.
This guy writes essays with about thirty questions in them and expects answers to each and every one of them. And this isn’t just the first message, every single message is like that. This is kind of sweet, but you wonder if you would have anything else to talk about after three messages.
This guy seems perfect, and you actually message back. You then receive no replies. Where did Mr Perfect go? Did he get abducted by aliens? I guess you’ll never know.
Similar to the Conversationalist, however this guy asks a brand new question every message as soon as you answer. You feel like you’re on an interview. What’s bad is he won’t even tell you stuff about him even if you ask him a question. Yeah, don’t bother replying.
Online dating is brutal, and you as much as them have a right not to message someone back if you don’t fancy them. It’s one of the perks. However, this guy obviously doesn’t get that. He will constantly message you expecting an answer; whether it’s a constant stream on ‘Hi’ or ‘Why no message me???’ this will go on and on until you block them. One guy actually seemed to have a conversation with himself as if I was answering…. I really don’t know!
The Pen Pal
I’m guilty of this myself, but these guys will message you and sound really lovely but have no intention of meeting you. You seem to have a connection too. When you do ask them out they’ll always have an excuse.
The Mystery Man
This guy is really tricky to try and build a conversation with. His profile is empty apart from ‘Message me.’ Then they get pissed off when your message is just, ‘Hi how are you? You have a nice smile x’ Honestly, put a little bit of information in the About Me box and maybe my messages will be more creative! Maybe he’s an international spy and can’t say too much on the internet. Or maybe he’s just too lazy to write a profile. Either way, not worth it.
So those are the ten types or men that I have come across online. Are there any that I may have missed?
I hope you enjoyed this post, I’ll see you tomorrow.
Have a nice day,